On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
