3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
