Michael Bay diarrhea
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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