bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
and she was petting her beer can
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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