Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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