Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize