Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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