this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
