wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How does it feel to date your dad?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
