so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
