I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize