Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
