I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
