Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
