too bad you live with your parents still
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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