But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
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