Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
