wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
