physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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