So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
