the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
