i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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