ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
