Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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