it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
