I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
