I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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