Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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