he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
