i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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