do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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