the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
