i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
