Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
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