Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
