if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
