Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Non-Jews are for practice
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
