yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
