i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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