I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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