hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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