I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
