Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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