trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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