I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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