my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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