and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
