Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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