Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
