I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Randomize
