Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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