If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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