So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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