I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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