they need to just BURY HIM!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
