I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize