i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
