no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
