She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
