I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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