New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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