There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
