She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
