This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
